You've heard these 3 new parent myths everywhere. You've seen them on TV. Your relatives have said "Good luck functioning on ___ hours of sleep!" You've mentally prepared for this mythical "midnight diaper run" ever since you found out you were pregnant. But I'm here to tell you these are legitimately just myths. I find it strange that nearly everyone told me these 3 things while I was pregnant and shortly after having the boys. But yet not a single one has ever rung true in this household. I could just be lucky. But 3/3 makes it seem more as though been-there-done-that parents are just trying to scare the newbies. But why??? Is this similar to fraternity initiation hype? I'm just straight up confused.
Midnight diaper runs.
Mythical scenario: You have 2 diaper changing "stations" and a diaper bag in your house, minimum. SOMEHOW in the CRAZINESS of being a new parent, you run out of diapers. In every spot in the house. And it's the middle of the night. Supposedly this is when Dad runs to the store in his pajamas to pick up the only pack of diapers left on the shelf - and it's the wrong size. Insert disaster of some sort here.
|One of our "Diapy Stations" throughout our house|
Most likely scenario: You have a stash or closet full of boxes of diapers (guilty) and when your babies are close to outgrowing one size, you still have 2 more boxes of that size to scramble to get through. It'll be a tight fit for a week or 2 until you can break open that new box of size 3's, but you'll do it! What the fudgenuggets is a midnight diaper run???
You will never have time to shower. Ever. EVER.
Mythical scenario: It's the one you've seen on TV over and over again. New mom, hair a mess, spit up on clothing, maybe some poop, too? Mom breaks down crying when family member drops by because they are SO disgusting and haven't showered for a week. You know how that one goes.
More likely scenario: The longest you may go without showering is 2-3 days and that is while you are in labor/shortly after labor when you don't (or can't physically) get up due to pain. I skipped one shower while in the hospital because I couldn't stand up without support. That's it. I have successfully showered every day since and I am very proud of it. Your baby naps, right? Your baby can play by himself and/or entertain himself in a Pack N Play or Exersaucer for 5 minutes, right? You have no excuse!
|"Baby jail" is a baby-proofed, secure place for these hooligans|
Most likely scenario: You'll take a shower every morning - but it'll be a quickie-5-minutes-or-less shower during the week and a "luxurious" 10 minute shower complete with shaving your legs on the weekends when hubby is home to keep track of the boys. You may still forget to brush your teeth though. And make-up most likely won't happen.
Say good-bye to sleep.
Mythical scenario: You are a zombie. You have not slept since baby was born 9 months ago. The second baby closes his eyes and you tip-toe out of the nursery and crash on your bed, baby is awake again. I repeat: you.have.not.slept.in.months.
More likely scenario: The first few months will be rough. You'll sleep in small increments. 1 1/2 - 3 hour spurts. But you get to go to bed when baby goes to bed (ideal bed time is 7 p.m.!) If you do stay up past that time, use it to do some research on sleep coaching/training/learning and put it to use once your baby is old enough, about 4 months old.
|All babies sleep eventually!|
What have your family members and friends scared you with while you were pregnant? Have you actually been one of those people who did make a midnight diaper run? Or do you prefer to be the person who hasn't showered in a week?