Friday, August 22, 2014

I Am A Mom of Twins - Ask Me Anything

I know I'm not the only one who gets asked silly questions... watch this YouTube video, it's hilarious!

People seem to be fascinated by twins. I think it's a universal thing. There are so. many. questions. when I either go out in public with the boys or tell people that I have twins. SO MANY QUESTIONS. Some of them are super cliche and annoying - like asking if they are twins. They are obviously twins. They're the same age, they look similar, they're both mine. You get the idea. I thought it would be a nice thing for me to do, because I'm just that nice of a person, to air out all of the "secrets" of twins  - here are some of the most popular or unusual questions I get asked by family/co-workers/friends/that random hobo down the street...

Q: Are they identical or fraternal?

A: I honestly have no idea - we have not done genetic testing on them and neither my OB or the boys' pediatricians could tell without genetic testing. My best guess, and I'm 99.9% sure I'm correct on this, is that they are fraternal. What that means: it means that the twin gene runs somewhere in my family and these boys are the outcome of genetics.This question has a follow up that I have only been asked a handful of times - "Are they natural twins?" Natural as the green grass, blue skies and none of your business, thank you!

Edited: We had DNA testing done on the boys and it turns out I was 100% wrong. They are identical twins. What that means: it means that these babies were spontaneous twins. 1 egg/1 sperm split. These boys are the result of some greater power throwing a curve ball my way and wanting me to have 2 babies. The ultimate surprise. 

Q: How much weight did you gain while you were pregnant?

A: Really? Really. People ask me this quite often. I would hesitate to ask anyone this question whether it was my best friend, sister, or a random stranger - but plenty of people feel ballsy enough to ask it so I'm usually ballsy enough to answer it. 38 pounds. The follow up question, without a doubt, is "Did you lose all of it yet?" ... Really? Once again, really.

Q: What happens if they both start crying at the same time?

A: This happens daily. Multiple times a day. You learn to tune it out and/or analyze the cry to see if they are just being whiny or if they legitimately need something. You can also prioritize who gets fed first by listening to the cries. For instance, if one baby is having a full blown meltdown (again, daily occurrence) and one baby is winding up but only at a 5 out of 10 - you have two options. You can distract baby 2 with new toys, tummy time, etc and tend to meltdown baby. Or you can address the needs of baby 2 before he gets to meltdown stage - since meltdown baby can't really get any more upset at that point. It's a case by case thing but all in all you become immune to the crying to a certain point.

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Q: Do you keep them on the same schedule?

A: Abso-freakin-lutely. I would lose my mind if they were just allowed to do what they want, when they want, all willy-nilly. They eat within a half hour of each other, they have playtime and naps at the same time. Bedtime is the same. If one baby gets up in the middle of the night, the other baby gets a surprise nighttime snack!

Q: Is one baby better/smarter/more easy-going/etc?

A: Sure. Some days. But it flip-flops - these babies don't like to be labeled, so stop trying!

Q: Do you dress them the same?

A: I dress them in whatever is clean and readily available at the time. We got a lot of matching outfits for our baby shower as gifts and I am making use of them - but I don't necessarily make them wear those outfits at the same time. I do try to dress them similarly i.e. both in onesies with shorts, both in rompers, etc.

Q: What was your reaction when you found out you were having twins?

A: I cried for 3 days straight when I found out. I was terrified. I had only ever wanted one baby to start with. I knew I would be a "high risk" pregnancy and the birthing center I had hoped to give birth at would not be allowed to see me. I knew there could be complications and I had to worry about 2 babies now instead of just one. Now I see them as the biggest blessing and surprise of my life! (The initial ultrasound picture with 2 little peanuts in it though is still the most terrifying/exciting picture ever!)

Q: Do they sleep in the same crib?

A: They did off and on for a while. Then we found out they woke each other up more easily if they were that close to each other. Now they sleep in separate cribs in the same room. I'm pretty sure they know the other one is close by because in the mornings they are chattering and it almost seems like they are having a conversation.

Q: How do you do it?

A: Umm... there's not really much of an option here. You just do it. It's actually not double the work of one baby (I would assume... I've never had just one baby.) I think twins learn to be more independent from the get-go, which is fine by me because I'm not a fan of attachment parenting anyway. At 4 months, they have already started to keep themselves and each other occupied and I'll take my chances and say that it'll probably just get easier from here.

Do you have any questions you'd like to ask? Throw them at me. I'll answer them as honestly as possible! Follow Oh.em.gee it's Nikkie on Facebook and never miss an update!

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